Well its official, my daughter is no longer a baby. She turned 2 last week. Of course she will always be my baby but to everyone else she is a full fledged toddler complete with her own plans, desires and wills.
Looking at her, my heart is so very full. It's terribly cliche to say such a stupid thing but its true. I've been so lucky that my motherhood journey has been mostly a joy. Dare I even write the word "easy"? (Everything except the first 6 weeks - that was HARD with a capital H!) Not everyday of course but overall, a lot easier than I imagined. (That probably means I'm in for the toddlerhood from hell but I'm ready.) I'd like to believe it had something to do with my fine parenting or waiting until the time was right to have her or being a generally cool well rounded person but the reality is I simply got lucky.
I was never one of those women who knew she wanted a child. In fact, I was in the no children camp for a long time. I admit that part of me (probably a bigger part than I would have ever realized before) felt like my lack of burning desire to procreate meant that I would struggle to find the joy in it or that I would not feel the heart stretching love for a child that a mother should. And more importantly, I never in a million years expected having a baby would be fun. I had hoped it would be positive and rewarding and all that junk but it is honest to goodness the most extended fun I've ever had! So saying goodbye to her babyhood makes me sad mostly because I doubt I could ever have that much fun again. Like the end of a great party.
Which of course brings up the topic of having another. A concept I can't quite wrap my mind around. As much as I have loved it so far, I can't quite figure out how the logistics of two ever works without feeling overwhelmed and exhausted all the time. And that prospect doesn't seem too appealing to me. (Maybe you mothers of more than one that aren't always harried can explain it to me?) But my biological clock is ticking loudly in my ear (another thing I would have never believed) making me feel a little pressure to be more decisive about it.
So for now we are a party of three and loving it. Happy Birthday my darling.
ps: sorry to disappoint but due to scheduling conflicts we ended up not having a big birthday bash for her but rather a birthday playdate without all the usual trappings. She was in heaven but it killed me not to do a proper party (yes, I have a sickness!) Rest assured my lack of fete for her this year will give me carte blanche to do something much more exciting next year.